“Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” ~2 Corinthians 3:17
…a song I have so enjoyed over the years, and a scripture I’m just now beginning to experience.
Starting to follow Jesus as a little girl has some beautiful parts to it, but there are also some pitfalls in which I was more prone to fall. Things like knowing the Word of God in my head, but feeling like I couldn’t believe it in my heart. Feeling like I knew how I was “supposed to act” and becoming a girl who tried to earn her salvation and love, trying to live up to an incredibly high standard I had put on muself, all the while knowing in my head it wasn’t the truth. I’ve struggled with perfectionism, and control of the way people saw me. But it only led to a life if bondage. As a young adult my eyes began to see these areas of bondage, but I felt powerless to do anything about them.
Then comes that season that no one ever asks for, and no one ever wants to walk through. Where you feel like everything you wanted has been stripped away, everything you had been trying to control was gone and you begin to realize how little control you ever really had anyways. You are so broken you don’t even know how to get up in the morning. You feel you’ve been left with next to nothing. You have more emotions and thoughts than you know what to do with. You’re not sure how to even keep walking through life. Have you been there?
So many questions. So many honest conversations with God. Then I began to experience the truths that I had known in my head for years….but not experientially believed.
I began to hear from Jesus in ways I never have before. God met me in my pain. He is big enough and strong enough to handle my tough questions…and boy was I asking Him some. But the sweet thing was…He always said something surprising and freeing. He never said what I thought I would hear….and what He said was always good.
I began to hear God speaking truth over me…and I began to let go. I began to walk in freedom. There is nothing more freeing than spending time with the God of the universe and hearing His sweet voice. Nothing.
Why must it take these extremely painful experiences to bring us to this place with God? A wise friend of mine told me that these painful circumstances are actually God pursuing our hearts. She said the most painful times in her life were times she would never choose to go back to…or replace. Wow. Such wisdom.
She’s so right. I’ve learned and experienced more of God in this season than I may have in any other season of my life. Would it be what I would have chosen? No.
But I’m learning (still in the process) to use the season where God has me to experience more of Him. And on the other side I will be living in more freedom than I ever have before.
Thank you Jesus for Your beautiful freedom.