This morning I spend a little extra time getting ready….no real reason….just wanted to. I line my eyes, something I haven’t done much of in months, and even brush my cheekbones with a hint of pink…trying desperately not to miss my summer tan. I pull my mascara brush as far as my lashes will reach….thinking all the while IS it possible to put mascara on with your mouth closed?? Next I pull my hair into a high pony and tease it a little bit to give it some volume. I slip on my dress, snap my belt in place, pull on my boots, and choose a dangling pair of earrings. I take one look in the mirror and think….yep…today I look good.
After spending time with some friends and my home girl, Beth Moore, I walk through the church with a little extra bounce in my step, knowing I’m turning heads…and so not mad about it. After all, doesn’t every girl need those days where she just knows she is catching eyes??
Making my way over to the counter I bite my lip as I try and decide which donut to choose out of the dozens available. I snag one and head to a donut’s best friend (and constantly growing to be mine as well): coffee. (Don’t tell BM!)
I pour a nice large cup, my mouth watering as I watch the steam rise and take in the delectable smell. I look around for the hot chocolate mix and sugar, ingredients I still require to truly enjoy my cup, and locate them on the other end of the counter. I begin making my way through the crowd, holding my cup of coffee, and that’s when it happens…
…now I don’t know if things like this happen to you, but I feel like they happen to me all the time, and there’s just absolutely nothing you can do about it. It’s one of those moments where you can almost see it happening in slow motion…you know what’s about to happen milliseconds before it does, but you are powerless to stop it. A nice older woman goes to hug one of her friends and in the process knocks my nice hot cup of coffee out of my hand and it splatters all over me and all over the floor.
Now, something you should know about me…was I sad to lose my cup of coffee? Eh…I felt bad but I knew I could get another one. Was I in pain for the coffee burning a hole in my shoulder? Yep. But I knew that will eventually go away. Was I worried about my dress and if it would stain? Absolutely!! My friends know how much I love dresses. But what was the worst part of all this for me? The embarrassment!! If anyone deeply knows me one of the worst things that could happen to me is to face an embarrassing moment. Something in my spirit just twists in anguish when I am embarrassed or when I see someone else who is embarrassed.
So here I am, probably 60 people watching me and for a brief moment, I am mortified! But the sweet thing is…I take a deep breath and tell God …You know what…it’s ok! I keep repeating to myself…it’s ok.
I assure the woman who caused the collision that it was completely fine and begin searching for some cleaning supplies. A towel is shoved towards me and I gratefully take it. I get on my hands and knees and begin cleaning up the spill. I know there was another woman helping me but I couldn’t tell you what she looked like. Lord please bless her for her mercy. At this point I am oblivious to everyone in the room. It’s just me and God and I have to smile as I think…ok God, I’m listening. And I felt His little reminder in my spirit. Walk humbly Lindsey. That’s what I desire for your character…don’t forget.
Did I do something wrong by thinking I looked good this morning? I don’t really think so. It wasn’t condemnation I felt from God, just a little reminder. I believe He desires us to know and believe that we are beautiful. As someone I know once said “You’re most beautiful when you know you are.” (How true is that???) But I do think God just wanted to give me a little check in my spirit…Lindsey I desire you to be the humble servant…like my Son was. And I believe I can fully be that….on the floor cleaning up a mess……….AND look good doin it!!