Made Empty to Fill Again

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Pulling out two boxes that have found their home in my closet the past few years, I get ready to do some purging. It’s one of my goals to constantly be getting rid of things I don’t need. Today it’s boxes of old notes and cards people have given me over the years.

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I open the lids and dive into my past. I open card after card from person after person in my life. I laugh at things I hadn’t thought about in years; my eyes well up over cards from people I miss dearly as I remember how wonderful it was to be doing life with them. Realization of how many years I’ve actually been alive sets in as I find cards from people I don’t even remember.

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There are cards for every different season. Thank you’s from people God has given me the privilege to walk alongside in their spiritual journey, affirmations of being the best RA or teacher in the world. So many birthday cards. I kick myself when I come across a few checks and gift cards from years ago that I forgot all about.

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As my fingers open the pages of my memories I have an overwhelming feeling of thankfulness. I’ve had such a full life. So many people I’ve had the privilege to know. I’m a people person and am constantly surrounded by them. But when I think back over the different seasons and realize how many people God has blessed me with, it’s almost impossible to wrap my mind around.

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Such a bitter sweetness to know that many of these people I will never see again on this earth. As I process the seasons of friendships, I realize. When God has emptied my life of its current people, He has always replaced it with a new freshness of relationships. When I am emptied of people, He make me full again with new people who also become so dear to my heart. And I am filled with the realization that I could never keep up with all of the relationships I’ve been given. My current life can only invest in so many people. Some I’m bound to let go of. Always making room for more.

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I sort through and try desperately to make decisions on which memories to discard, and which ones I will choose to keep; enjoying the memories throughout the process. Emptying myself of some memories, in order to make room for new ones.

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I firmly press the lid on the box which contains the memories I’m not ready to let go of yet, and carry the chosen ones to the recycling.

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How many more seasons of this will I endure? I don’t know. But I will be thankful for each individual whose story I get to be a part of.

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